Dream Archive 18: The Return of the King James Version

Found a Bible that had lenticular images of Sir Ian McKellan as Gandalf on each page, so that it looked like Gandalf was looking at you through the text. There was another layer of text which explained why gay people weren't real people. So in other words a normal Bible.

Dream Archive 17: Charles Something

In a distorted version of the house on Long Avenue, my dad kept calling and asking if I was going to fly to Japan with my step-family. The flight was at 2AM that night. My mom kept asking if I was going to drive to the airport and pick up some other people who were flying in at 2AM. Someone was messing with my electric train, making the tracks longer and more complicated. I knew the name of the person who was doing it. I was pretty sure it was my brother's friend, who was hiding out in the shower. I got a couple of girls to pull him out, and asked if the name I had was actually his real name. Instead of answering, he began to fly into the sky, getting smaller and smaller like a kite. I went down to where Spencer and some other guys were flying their model planes to see if they could help me get him back on the ground. They were being too crazy, though, making the planes dive-bomb each other and stuff. I told Katy not to go out there. A bunch of other people were trying to convince me to fly to Japan. I told them I didn't have the money.

Dream Archive 16: Andrew's Death

Dreamed that my brother died. Now I have proof that, emotionally speaking, that is the worst thing that could ever happen to me.

Dream Archive 15: Scavenger Hunt

In some kind of endless gallery / museum / indoor city, there were families with strange animals. There was a type of small dog called something like a "Beltr" that looked exactly like a hand puppet made of corduroy and felt, but it was alive. It had a naturally-occurring South American rug pattern in its fur. A lot of the other animals had similar patterns on them. Many of them were sheep. Outside, there were two huge round men as big as cars that were wearing sheep costumes made of felt. They rolled back and forth on each other and made terrifying faces for money. Inside, crowds of people drifted here and there. A man carrying a small child on his shoulders sold me a tambourine the size of a penny for twenty-six cents. I had to ask my grandmother for money. I couldn't find her, but I found what I thought might be her purse. I was digging through it, and it turned out to be someone else's. There was a piece of paper in there with instructions for a scavenger hunt. There was a note written on the paper saying they had found it pinned above a urinal. As I was going through the purse on a table, people dressed in strange combinations of dirty rags and fancy Soviet-looking uniforms started coming up and asking me for change. Some of them wanted a handout, but some of them wanted to me to make change for them. One man in a bright red coat with gold tassels on the shoulders held one hand inside his coat and gestured at me to put the money in that hand secretly, as though I was reaching inside his coat for some other reason. Apparently, the authorities didn't approve of begging or making change for people.

Dream Archive 14: Model Solar System

Dreamed I had bought a model solar system with scale replicas of all the planets. I had set it up inside a huge department store or bookstore of some kind. I wanted the distances to be to-scale, so some of the planets were miles apart from each other. Some of them had to be placed in the forest outside the store. Then, for whatever reason, I had to go find them all. This wasn't easy, since several of them were the size of a pea.

Dream Archive 13: Basement Ruin

Dreamed I was in a bombed-out basement in the middle of a former war-zone. The basement was filled with my toys and drawings from when I was a child. I wanted to rescue them from the wreckage, but someone told me they were irradiated and therefore poisonous. I started gathering them together anyway, and then my hair started to fall out.

Dream Archive 12: James Bond vs. Them

Dreamed we were all driving around looking for a Halloween store. We stopped in a parking lot in front of a restaurant. All these people—adults and children—came out of the restaurant dressed as cats. Their Halloween idea was a restaurant run by cats. There was a fog machine inside, and a weird ghostly light. I could see cat-shapes crawling all over the tables. It was just part of the show, though.

A car full of people pulled into the parking lot. It was James Bond's car. James Bond was being played by beloved English character actor Jim Broadbent. I remember thinking he was not a very good James Bond, because he would momentarily pass out after doing anything strenuous, and his entourage would have to catch him. He had some sort of projectile weapon which he aimed at the inside of the car window. When he fired it, it made a small, perfectly round hole in the glass. After he passed out and regained consciousness, he began pouring gasoline through the hole, down the side of the car, and onto the street. The gasoline spread across the parking lot into the restaurant. James Bond and his entourage got out of the car and began walking away. We followed them. James Bond lit a match and tossed it back over his shoulder. The car and the restaurant exploded in a huge fireball, killing all the adults and children inside.

I asked James Bond why he had to murder all those innocent people working in the restaurant, and he said it was the only way to keep "them" from following us. He wasn't clear about who "they" were, but he seemed very serious about it, so I decided to trust him.

Apparently, murdering all the cat-people wasn't enough, because "they" caught up with us anyways. We were on a train heading somewhere. Suddenly, other trains began catching up with us on either side. They were all black, with no windows. James Bond told the engineer to reverse the train immediately. We stopped, and then started going backwards, they way we had come. We seemed to be outrunning the black trains. Then, we came to the end of the line. There was a sofa tied to a metal post to provide cushioning in case we couldn't stop in time. It seemed like we were going to smash into the post, but when we actually did, it was just a gentle tap.

We looked around and realized it was too late. "They" had caught up to us. There were hundreds of "them," standing in silent regiments. "They" didn't move or make a sound. "They" wore long black or brown robes, with masks that looked like the one from Amadeus. Some of "them" had curled horns like rams' horns.

We didn't know what "they" were going to do to us. What "they" did was put us into some kind of dream where we were controlling the actions of a farmer who lived on a desolate plain. There were huge prehistoric boulders scattered across the landscape near the farmer's home. One day, out of nowhere, the Nazgûl witch-king appeared and began murdering the farmer's family in front of him. It took the farmer's wife and hurled her hundreds on feet into the air; we heard the sickening thud when she hit the ground somewhere nearby. The farmer had to give into some demand in order to save his children, but we didn't know what the demand was or how to give into it.